Whatever age in they are or what period they are facing, divorce of parents is hard for children. Researches showed that nearly all divorces left some bad scenes on children and sometimes it can be harming for all lifetime. It’s true that children are not adults and there are some items and events they are focusing more than adults. So it’s possible to make the period less painful and less harmful for them by taking attention on some little items. How many ways to make divorces easier for children?
One of the most important things for children is their toys. Many parents avoid it but children feel safe where their toys and other belongings stay. Kids feel ownership on their mother and father but they are separated now. When they are not allowed to take their toys to mother’s or father’s house, they will understand that everything is separated and worlds will never come back again. Many children start the crying session on this environment. Mother and father must be too careful on this period and they must allow carrying of toys even there are same on other house.
Other mistake divorced parents are making commonly is talking badmouth about their old partner in front of their children. Mother or father commonly believes that all fault of divorce is on the other side and children must know the truth. But talking bad about father or mother is hurting the children and they don’t know how to recover from this bad situation. Also arguing in front of children after divorce is harmful for them.
Keeping routines of life after divorce is also important. It’s not pretending like nothing happened but it will be good if children feel the changing environment as least as possible. Rules and boundaries are very important for children but not cracking them is more important than it. Even after a bad divorce, children must still eat their meal on the time they get used to. They must play their games on time and sleep on time also. Children need to understand how the events will change and they will feel confident if the life routines change rare or not.
It’s true that divorce means end of communication and top of problems but it’s hard for children to understand the reasons for the divorce. Celebration days like birthday or festivals are very important and even they are not talking, they must be together on birthdays and other important days. Parents must understand that birthday or other special days of children are for them, not for parents. So they must come together for children.
It’s true that children mostly choose one of parents and mostly stay on them. Also court gives the rights to one of parents. Whatever court says, children can choose one of the parents and they won’t understand the rules. Only feeling confident or a little toy is enough children to choose one of parents and mostly they won’t understand the real reason.
Many parents make a big mistake after divorce and they don’t allow children to understand the environment and feel big emotions. They try to stop children crying. According to therapists, children must cry, wipe and more on strongest feelings. It’s the way that will open children to speak about their feelings and ideas on divorce. Parents must also try to get more by saying “tell me more, here you are confident to talk” and more. Talking will make children relax and they will not think more about the environment and problems when they speak enough to parents.
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