World is not a good place for a long time and every day it’s possible to see a school shooting, a tragic accident, a hit of storm or other disasters on TV and read them on newspapers. It’s definite that selling the disasters is the main marketing strategy of many newspapers and channels so they will try to touch your feelings more and more and also try to break your anxiety. Maybe adults are experienced to find the ways of managing stress in this century but children are still unguarded. So learning about tragic events is the right of children but you must be very careful on the method you will say it. Children are sensitive in some events and they can face a traumatic position. How many ways of talking to children about tragic events?
First of all, you must balance your anxiety and anger level against all news. It’s true that all headlines, photos and videos will play with your emotions, anxiety and more. Children have a strong ability to understand parents’ emotional position so it’s very important to control yourself. Also don’t forget that all news you see on news is not threating your life. So be careful while choosing the news your children must know.
It’s a common misconception that parents mostly close the TV suddenly, shut down the radio and starts to play board games even children never see them playing such games. It’s not a way of hiding bad news from children but it’s a good way to notice children that there is bad news or problems. So you can try to be relax and say the news on a good time to talk.
Another big mistake parents are mostly making in tragic news is avoiding social media and others. Nowadays children are more aware than adults and they have many tools to reach news easily. So first of all, you must try to learn even she learned the news or not. If you are making role after a tragic event that your children know already, they can lose their respect on you. So you can ask first, “what is on the news today” or “do you know what happened today” questions.
You must plan how you will talk about the event before talking to your children. For example, if it’s a school shooting on the school they are attending, they can get shock and it will be very hard to persuade them to go school again. So you must plan all the speaking on your mind first and think about questions they will ask probably. Prepare a text according the age and emotional level of your children. Saying the truth directly is not honesty for all.
While talking about event, create a serious environment and don’t accept any cuts to your speak. If your children are over 10, you can talk them about the event with a mild voice but a strong look. If your children are under 10 years old, you can start with a story which will boost children’s natural charity instincts and then you can talk about event.
Follow your children while talking about event and after conversation finished. Some children didn’t notice any emotion change but they can shock you in a moment. Also it’s a world that children are laughing to monsters in movies. If your child starts to cry in a not extreme way, don’t try to stop her. But if you feel the deep panic and other not natural behavior, take his directly to a children psychologist.